Control

Sometimes I can't shut myself up. I mean my inside self - you know the one that talks you in or out of things, the one that has non-stop commentary on almost everything you come across, the one that comes up with the most ridiculous thoughts that if you shared them with other people they may start to question your sanity. Yeah, I can't shut me up! Since I've been so busy chatting, I thought I'd try to summarize all the blabbing and gibberish that's been a steady stream in my head these days. One word - control. Yup, it takes someone pretty special to make hours of conversation out of the word 'control'. But I did it. Pretty much what I've come to realize is that I want control. There are tons of things in the world, in my world, that I have no control over and sometimes the outcomes are pleasant but sometimes the outcomes suck and they suck bad! So the chit chatter in my head is telling me to smarten up, forget about the things you can't control - give up trying to. There are things I do have control over so why not take it?! Why let those things that can totally suck get the better of me, don't let everything else go down the drain with them! Start small - I mean small. I stopped biting my nails - I have control over that now! I've started exercising again - there are so many people out there that can't run or lift weights - I can. It'd be a shame not to use the power I have when those people wish they could have that same power but they don't have control because of illness or an accident. I took control over the clutter in my kitchen this past weekend and let me tell you I feel fantastic about that! Small steps to taking back the control. Sure sometimes you have to let yourself wallow in self-pity but don't stay there, it will eat you alive. Show the world who's boss! Next - menu planning!